Perfectionism; The Link between Self-Forgiveness & Healing

You can never get rid of your fears, you can never get rid of your pain, no matter what effort you make, until you have the guts to forgive yourself. Just forgive yourself. ~Yogi Bhajan (1/29/86)

I came across this quote by our teacher. Because it spoke to me, I saved it, but I found myself wondering…why? Why do we need to forgive ourselves? That analytic hex I’ve got was at it again. In my left-brained delirium, I discovered the connection in the perfectionistic tendency. So, for others who may be similarly afflicted (by the need to know, or by perfectionism), here is my take on the link between personal evolution and self-forgiveness.

  • To forgive is most literally, to forth-give. In other words, to go forwards.
  • Because the perfectionism that many of us get caught up into, creates subconscious road blocks, which manifests as a plethora of psychological hang-ups, as well as physical issues. We perfectionist types literally make ourselves sick over the possibility of failing in some way. Forward-thinking healers in the medical profession who have embraced this phenomenon, refer to the myriad psycho-somatic conditions more euphemistically, as mind-body issues. Letting ourselves, or others, down, is so unbearable, that mind-body issues, such as pain or depression, becomes more acceptable psychologically. So, forgiveness, in this regard, is more about forgiving what we perceive to be failures, so that we can move on.
  • The secondary emotions that accompany the perfectionistic tendency result in additional unconscious baggage, such as guilt, regret or even anger, which is perhaps the the worst of all because of the internal backlash it generates. I like to refer to these emotions as “backpack emotions,” that only perpetuate our issues.

In short, when we let go of harmful emotions, we simultaneously enable ourselves to heal. Those toxic seeds worked as a scapegoat, in effect—a distraction, of sorts, that allowed for an ailment that our minds considered more acceptable than personal disappointment. Letting go enables our personal liberation.

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5 responses to “Perfectionism; The Link between Self-Forgiveness & Healing

  1. I love the connection you made here Donna and also love this: ‘to forgive’ is ‘to go forwards’. I can relate to those perfectionist tendencies which I’ve had to work through ;)……leaning into and letting go of toxic emotions is for sure a healing process…..thanks for sharing your wisdom :).

  2. Good advice. Now, if I could only do it…

  3. Pingback: Fostering the Right Environment | YOU DECIDE

  4. Pingback: Guest Post: How Self-Forgiveness Allows Me to Let Go of My Perfectionism - A hangover free life

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